Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
