hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Of course I have a pirate flag
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
