proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
