I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize