I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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