Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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