I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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