Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
