Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So many bounce houses so little time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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