ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
