my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
