I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
