I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
