Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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