Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
