Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
