Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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