Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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