I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
