it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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