I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
