I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
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