By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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