i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize