I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
