Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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