How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
