The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize