The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
