Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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