i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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