Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
