stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Life is so much better after having sex.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
