first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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