If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I haven't been this sober since birth.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
