I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
