ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's blow job season.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
