I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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