Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
