She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
