oh god the rape fog is back!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
