I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
