Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't think brook has ever known best
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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