She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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