it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
