i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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