is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
