i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
