Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she pinky promised me she was 18
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
