i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
