so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
