he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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