you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
